Saturday, November 5, 2011

My Dad . . .

I know you are wondering about my dad . . .

Things with him have been going okay - not great, but okay. He isn't feeling his best and hasn't been able to mow the lawn for himself for a few months now (my nephew steps in and helps out). He is in quite a bit of pain and has also been having nose bleeds (one of the symptoms of Waldenstrom's). As far as lab work, his labs are saying that the disease is progressing, he has stage two chronic kidney failure, and he was just diagnosed with diabetes. It's so frustrating to see him go through all of this - especially when he becomes frustrated because he can't do what he wants when he wants . . . or forgets what he's doing altogether.

On the memory front . . . he gets quite confused at times. He gets lost in town and so he rarely goes anywhere unless he is with my mom or myself (and we drive most of the time). He doesn't like to do too much by himself and won't do too much without my mom by his side. It's kind of cute, but at the same time, so uncharacteristic of him . . . and it drives my mom nuts! =0)

He sleeps a lot, but does try to stay busy - it's how he ignores his pain. He waters and cares for his lawn several times a day (boy, I hope nobody from the water division is reading this). ;0) By the way, you're not supposed to water your lawn daily in FL. Oh well, I'd like to see one of the officials explain that to my dad. =0) He enjoys spending time with the birds and squirrels - he has named and recognizes the majority of the squirrels that visit our bird feeders . . . or squirrel feeders (my dad built feeders and houses just for the squirrels). =0) He also spends time with Isaiah - he loves getting Isaiah to say funny phrases to us.

Dad's moods are changing, too. He's not as talkative or friendly. Not that he's mean, he just doesn't talk. When we try to talk to him, he is very short and seems to stare off into the distance at times. Sometimes, it's because he can't hear very well. Other times, he is in his own little world. Much to my chagrin (wink-wink), he loves watching his blue grass/country shows. Insert shivers here - two types of music I cannot stand! =0) However, in describing my dad's personality, you cannot leave his love for those types of music out. It's totally part of who he is.

At times, he feels alone and forgotten - my dad thrived on being needed and being useful. Since he can't hear well, he feels cut-off from conversation and is afraid of talking because he doesn't want to talk to loudly or doesn't want to misunderstand the conversation - it embarrasses him. There are times where he questions his relationship with God - has God forgotten him or is he being punished? I know that he knows the answer to those questions, but it still bothers him. Going to church, for him, has been rough - he can't hear what's being said, he's no longer needed or feels useful, and he doesn't feel comfortable talking or singing (my dad used to love to sing). I wish I could make it all better for him or help him find a sense of peace and comfort in this time in his life.

Thank you for your continued prayers for my dad - he needs them! He is frustrated and scared, though he wouldn't dare tell you - that's just my dad. He is in a lot of pain, which won't get any better without your prayers. There are no pain medications that will touch the pain he experiences - he has had too much nerve damage and cannot take some of the meds that barely help him because of side effects. I know God is listening to him and trying to bring comfort and peace - we can see that, at times. My dad knows, too . . . Please continue to pray for healing, strength, comfort, and peace . . . and for a renewed sense of joy, purpose, and meaningfulness for my dad.


1 comment:

stitching under oaks said...

Thank you for sharing this...we will be praying for your dad. I hadn't realized how tough things were for him. He's a wonderful man and he'll be in our prayers.