Scripture for the New Year and Some Thoughts

I was reading the Scripture of the day on my desktop (I love Windows Vista) and I thought that I should share it with you. Of course, I would love to share everything I read with you, but I don't have that much time to post it all! =0) Anyway, the Scripture comes from Isaiah 43.16 - 19 (funny, huh?):

This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses, the army and reinforcements together, and they lay there, never to rise again, extinguished, snuffed out like a wick: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

It's funny how this verse just showed up on the screen this morning. I don't know about you, but the bathroom is a place where I can think. More specifically, the shower (no wonder I can't seem to get out of there)! =0) I don't know, maybe it's the calming sound of the water or just the fact there are no distractions, but my mind just seems to wake up in the shower. Anyway, I just started thinking about all that I have to be grateful for and how God's plans have unfolded in "my" life (obviously, "my life is shared with others and theirs are shared with mine - not just my life). I thought about all the plans I had for my future and how they aren't completely as I had imagined.

Then, I read this morning's verse.

It just made me think of all the things I had planned for my life - you know, my ideas for how I wanted things to go based on what God was telling me. Obviously, things aren't quite how I had planned, but God had different ideas. No, I am not in ministry alongside of my family like I had planned, but God has a different plan. I am still in ministry, just not with my original plan. I am not in China or Hong Kong, or some other place in Southeast Asia, but in Florida . . . of all places! =0) I am not in Zambia. I only have one child. I cannot adopt the beautiful Chinese little girl like I had dreamed of. God has different ideas.

It's not that God doesn't want me to do those things - I know He does. Just not the way I had planned and not in my timing. Frustrating to find out that things don't happen quite our way, isn't it? =0) Funny thing is, it is never about us - there's a bigger plan than we can see, or maybe it's bigger than we want to see.

When Isaiah was born, I also had plans for him. Nothing I would consider being "written in stone," but I had "dreams" for him. The usual boy dreams for him, the dreams for a child without systemic mastocytosis and without severe food and environmental allergies. Dreams for cool birthday cakes and pizza parties, trips to buy ice cream in an ice cream shop . . . "normal" food. Of course, that's not the way things are - Isaiah can't even be in the same room when you open a bag of cheese popcorn. No "normal" pizza parties with that "perfect" store-bought cake - even going to someone else's party is a scary experience that makes me (and just about everyone else) stand ready to act for the "just-in-case" incidents. No group gatherings are easy - there's planning as to what Isaiah will have to eat, when to cook it, and how to keep him away from the others until hands are washed, etc.

I can't say that I have ever had to use an Epi for myself. I don't have one even prescribed to me and I have never anaphylaxed. Isaiah, on the other hand, has 6 of the things, has anaphylaxed around 15 times since he was born. The scary thing is that one Epi may not be enough to stop the reaction (hence the 6 Epis).

I have come to understand "normal" isn't normal and "perfect" on this earth isn't the idealistic perfect. The way things are right now are normal and Isaiah is his own form of "perfection." Our normal pizza is cheese-less with no wheat, soy, eggs . . . no milk - and it is "perfect." Our normal cake is the one I have to make for Isaiah because no store carries anything for him - and it is "perfect." Our cookies aren't store-bought and neither are the majority of our mixes, but they are still "perfect". There is no fast-food, no quick-fix food. That's our normal and our "perfect." It's not a bad thing and I am at peace with that. Please, know that I am not complaining - I wouldn't change it for the world.

Yes, I want to see my little boy healed and not have to worry about what the next episode of anaphylaxis may bring. I don't like to keep count of how many episodes he has in a year and I don't like the feeling that comes when you realize the "year" is not even close to being over with and he's just had his 4th or 5th reaction . . . leaving you to wonder if the 4 to 5 times a year will turn in to 5 to 6. The same with the developmental delays and the looming possibility of a diagnosis of yet another syndrome (and still the question exists of the masto affecting his brain and development). Of course I pray for him to be healed and I want others to pray for him as well. I still hope and believe for Isaiah's healing because I know God can. I am not accepting and welcoming this disease, but I am not resisting what God wants. Does that make any sense? I love my son for who he is and not for who I want him to be.

For some reason, this is where God has us right now. Apparently, this is where God wants us to be. Not my choice, but His - I am starting to accept that and make it my own. So, I say, "okay," not understanding why, but not wanting to know why either. His will is enough explanation for me and I probably can't even handle the reasoning. I try not to worry because I know God has Isaiah's best interests in mind as well.

I do my part and protect my baby as much as I can because he cannot speak for himself . . . yet. I am a parent, it's my job to protect him from things that can harm him. It's my job to teach him so he can eventually protect himself. This little guy I prayed so long for - just to exist - is God's gift and answer to my prayers. God placed him in my care because He wanted to give me the responsibility of caring for him. I may not know why, but He does. God has bigger plans - better plans than I have ever dreamed of. "Not my will, Lord, but Yours."

There was a song on the radio that made me think . . . I know, what doesn't make me think, right? =0) It's by Francesca Batistelli, and it says something like, "I'm letting go of the life I've planned for me and my dreams. I'm losing control of my destiny." Basically, she's saying, "God I surrender to Your plans because mine aren't quite right." It's not my way, but His that counts.

As this new year begins, in all its uncertainty, I need to remember that God has plans for the way things should go. No, we aren't puppets - there is still free will. Yes, we can mess things up for ourselves . . . and others can "mess" things up for us as well (frustrating, that free will). =0) Relaxing in His will is difficult because we want so badly to make things our idealistic "normal" and "perfect," but His will is truly normal and perfect. Our "normal" and "perfect" actually takes away that free will - just think about it, my plan for things to go accordingly to my plan isn't necessarily the way someone else would have things go. Messy? Yup. Life is messy. It's not structured, at least not the way we would like it to be. It's not neat, but it's life. "Good" isn't necessarily "perfect" or "normal."

Sheesh, it's amazing how a shower and a verse can make you redefine the way you think!

In this new year, I hope that you will find peace in His will and never lose hope and faith in Him. May you rest in His arms and plans for you! Happy 2009!

Sheesh! 2008 has flown by!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

New Recipe

Okay, so it's not that new, but I figured some of you might be interested in it. It's a recipe for laundry soap. Yeah, I know, it's not something you'd eat, but it can save you a little money. It's actually cheaper to make your own laundry soap . . . unless you have to use Vanicream, then it's only mildly cheaper. =0} Just kidding! =0)

It's great for people with skin sensitivities because you can use the soap your skin tolerates. Of course, letting you clothes go through an extra rinse cycle helps as well, but if you have super-sensitive skin (like Isaiah), the extra rinse is necessary. Vanicream works well and has no odor - your clothes smell fresh and clean (you can buy this from www.vanicream.com or from your local pharmacy). Ivory is okay, if you can tolerate the fragrance . . . Isaiah's skin doesn't. It also can have an odd odor after a bit. I really do not recommend using an olive oil-based soap (like Kiss My Face). It gets the job done, and your clothes feel soft, but it doesn't smell so good after a bit. In fact, it smells like B.O. - YUCK!!!

Okay, so the recipe. I have also included photos to accompany the process. =0)

You will need:

At least a 2 -3 gallon bucket with a lid (I found mine at Wal-Mart for less than $5)
1 Box of Borax
1 large box or bag of baking soda (Soda Ash or Washing Soda is better, but it's hard to find)
At least 1 bar of soap
Lots of water =0)
1 large pot - LARGE.



Ingredients:

1 bar of soap (grated)
6 cups of boiling water
1 to 2 cups of Borax (I don't suggest any more than 2 cups)
1 to 2 cups of Baking Soda or Soda Ash/Washing Soda
*6 cups of hot water*
4 cups of water - tap water is fine
1 gallon of water - again, tap is fine


*Preparation:*

Have the bucket prepared with 6 cups of boiling water (which will cool to hot water by the time you add the soap). Have this ready in case you have to add the soap because it is overflowing . . . read on, you'll find out why.


Directions:

1. Grate the soap. This is necessary because you'll be standing there forever waiting for it all to mix with the water. Grate the soap. =0) I have used the old-fashioned grater, but why kill your hands when you can use a food processor????


2. Bring 6 cups of water to a boil. Remove from the eye to let it (the eye) cool down a little. At this point turn down the heat to a Medium-Low heat. Dissolve the bar of soap in the hot water.



3. Return the pot to the heat once soap is completely dissolved. Add 1 cup of Borax. You can add more later if you'd like. Stir until borax is completely dissolved.



4. Remove the pot from the heat. No additional heating will be necessary at this point. Slowly add 1 cup of Baking Soda or Soda Ash (Washing Soda) - SLOWLY. You can add more if you'd like. At this point, you may notice the liquid expanding. It can make a mess, so have the bucket handy just in case. This hasn't happened with Ivory or the Kiss My Face soaps, but does happen with the Vanicream-Baking Soda combination. Boy, did I have a mess to clean up, and it's no little mess, either! =0)



5. Add the soap mixture to the bucket with 6 cups of the now-hot water. Stir. Add 4 cups plus 1 gallon of water. Stir.



7. Let set for 24 hours before first use.

You can use about 1 cup for a large load. Sometimes, I will use up to 1 1/2 cups depending on the load.

The laundry soap will look anywhere from a thick soupy liquid to a thin soapy mixture (depending on the soap you use).

Have fun!

I guess today is one of those days . . .

I have yet another prayer request - this time for Stellan. I do have a button for Stellan somewhere on my page. If you click on it, you'll be able to read all about little Stellan and his family. Stellan is a miracle - he wasn't supposed to be alive right now. But, God healed him of a heart defect and little Stellan was born a healthy baby. Stellan needs your prayers, again. Today, he was admitted to the hospital with RSV (a very serious virus for young babies). He hasn't been intubated yet, but he has stopped breathing a few times because his lungs are so inflamed. His heart is acting up again, but the doctors think that it's probably from the RSV and not from heart failure (like he had while in the womb).



For more updates, you can visit McMama's page at: http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ .

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Not Me! Monday

Even though it's one of those days, this is great therapy (thank you McMama)!

I did not let the fish tank continue to go uncleaned . . . and it is not clear! =0)

I did not let Isaiah wear pajamas all day on Christmas . . . I always dress my child. And I did not allow him to stay that way until Uncle Keith and Aunt Michele came (at 6pm) - that would be insane! What kind of a mother am I, anyway?


I did not allow my son to run around in the front yard with a shirt and his big boy underwear on. I mean, really. That's just inappropriate! Even if he had his pull-ups on under the underwear, that doesn't make them shorts!!! =0) (Yeah, those green things are actually Thomas underwear)

I am not going to make sugar cookies right now for my son who is begging for them. It's 9:21 right now . . . there is no way I am baking those things tonight!

(9:45) I did not mix up the cookies for my little man. They are not in the freezer firming up and I am not going to attempt to bake them tonight. . . . . =0)

Please continue to pray . . .

Quick update on Coleman: they are on their way back home! I don't know any other details, but at least they will be at home together instead of being in a hospital.

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for Emerson. She now has a fever and the doctors are unsure as to what is going on. Emerson is already on several strong antibiotics and they are unsure yet if she has sepsis again. You can read more at http://www.cotaforemersonw.com/node/35.



Also, please pray for Coleman - he was airlifted to another hospital because he was having trouble with speech and such. He has two new spots on his brain. To read more about Coleman, please visit http://www.carepages.com/carepages/ColemanScott. From a little that I do know, Coleman's twin brother, Caleb, is now with him. These two are a team and it is great to hear that he's right by Coleman's side.

My Isaiah . . . and My Parents =0)

Isaiah is having itching issues again. =0( The Prednisone isn't helping anymore. It cleared up the rashes (even those hard to get rid of patches on the soles of his feet), then, it seems like his body just got used to it. The rashes slowly started to come back and now he itches in the middle of the night . . . and all day. He's waking up in the middle of the night crying, too. He even has his first canker sore (probably from the Prednisone - it can do that). So, he hasn't been eating well, again.




He's taking it well, though. He still smiles throughout the day (even though he has moments of crankiness) and he continues to play, too. He's tired, but resting isn't an option (especially now that we have Spike, Elmo, and Thomas here to play with him)! =0) He is also into this globe - he says he's flying (Little Einsteins Globe - he loves it). =0) He has also been cooking in his kitchen: birthday cakes, pizzas, steaks, eggs, birthday cupcake snacks, cookies, soup - he has such an imagination! =0) Hmmmm, maybe one day he'll help me figure out these allergy recipes!




I should also mention that my Dad was up most of the night in pain. He wouldn't tell me what hurt (he was too groggy to speak much), but he just said he was hurting. So, I got out his new electric blanket, warmed it up for him, and covered him up. He slept a little, but now he's outside working like crazy - he's keeping his mind off the pain. You can tell he's not feeling well, though - he's pale and not himself. Yesterday, when his friend stopped by, he fell asleep during their "conversation." I feel so bad that nothing seems to relive his pain. And I found the thermostat back up to 80 . . . even with the blanket! =0) Between Isaiah and my dad, there's no temperature that works for the both of them! I was hoping the blanket would help with my dad so that the house could remain cooler . . . guess I was wrong. =0)




It was so good to hear my Dad laugh this past week. Isaiah and my Dad really get each other going! =0) They are definitely buddies. It has been cute to watch the two of them watch Christmas movies over the past 2 or 3 weeks. Of course, Isaiah will probably still want to watch those Christmas movies throughout the rest of the year as well, but it's still nice to see the two of them share a chair and be glued to the screen for a little bit. =0)




Since I am still writing =0), I figure that I should also mention that my Mom is feeling better as well. The antibiotic hasn't been bothering her quite as much and she has also adjusted to the antacid (Prilosec). The pressure she was feeling is gone, as well as the nausea and the side effects of the Prilosec. Thanks for praying for her!!

That's all for now. =0)

I also forgot to mention . . .

. . . Christmas day was Isaiah's half-birthday! =0) He is officially 3 1/2!!! It's amazing how time flies!

And, since today is Flashback Friday (thanks, Carla!), I figured I would post some flashbacks . . .

June 25th, 2005

December 2005

2006

2007

2008

Happy half-birthday, Isaiah! =0)