Sunday, October 19, 2008

EVS Came to Cocoa!!!

Friday night Isaiah and I went to Cocoa to see EVS (Evangelistic Singers from Lee University), the choir I was in while in college. They were amazing! A very talented group. It was also good to see Rodney, who is now the choir's director (he was also a member of the choir when I was in it). It was so neat to see Rodney as the director, though I think just about everybody knew that Rodney would some day direct EVS! =0)

Isaiah loved it! Even when the choir was just warming up, Isaiah was so excited. He found the church's hymnal, opened it (after searching for the perfect song), and began to direct!!! He was so cute! He kept saying, "People! Sing!" Amazing. He was so excited that he was shaking! =0)

There was also a point in the service where some of the choir members began dancing - Isaiah didn't hesitate to join in. I was just amazed at Isaiah's desire to worship. There was also a young gentleman who could no longer contain his excitement to worship and ran around the church - another thing Isaiah was more than eager to do. He started running behind the gentleman!! The most amazing part was Isaiah did not flush one bit! The amazing presence of God - just His presence - kept him from flushing! At one point, I didn't want to disturb some of the others worshipping, but I also enjoyed watching my son display his love and excitement for his Jesus. It even brought tears to my eyes - just watching him dance.

It was loud. Very loud. But it didn't bother Isaiah. His Jesus was there and nothing else mattered. Usually, Isaiah doesn't like loud noises or music. When we have gone to the theme parks, Isaiah gets very clingy and just really doesn't enjoy the day. He's usually more than glad to leave (poor guy)! =0) But, Friday night, Isaiah didn't want to leave. He really enjoyed it because he knew our Jesus was there.

I wish I had taken my camera - I didn't because of all the stuff I lugged along with us! =0) I should have known Isaiah would have been occupied. =0) I really wanted to share some pictures that run through my mind of that evening.

It was also eye-opening to me. I can't lie, it has been a rough week for us. The Friday before, the doctors at St. Pete told us just how severe Isaiah's allergies were and drew blood to make sure nothing else was going on in Isaiah's body to make his allergies so severe. They also told us of some very scary ideas (like leukemia causing the allergies, etc.) - at least they were only making sure that Isaiah does not have leukemia.

We were also informed, through the evaluation by the school district, that Isaiah needed at-home intervention for speech along with a few other things. They proposed that Isaiah should have in-home preschool and also confirmed the doctor's idea of Aspergers (though it is still not a concrete diagnosis made by a psychiatrist), and I saw my confused son being kicked by a group of 5-year-olds on the playground just because he was different.
On top of that, Isaiah has not been himself since the appointment in St. Pete. My normally smiling and happy little guy has been waking up crying at night, irritable/moody during the day, and just falling asleep at the drop of the hat. He just doesn't feel well and he's not ashamed to show it. =0} Some of his rashes improved, while others have gotten worse (namely the one around his mouth). He has been more cuddly than usual, but the temper issue has just been unreal. He is just not my happy-go-lucky little man.

Then, Friday. After a long week, God brought rain - a refreshing service that just seemed to medicate the soul. I feel refreshed, though, still pensive. Not really upset, just starting to face reality (which isn't a bad thing). I still have hope beyond hope that God is still the God of the miraculous, but I still recognize that His will is higher than mine. No matter what I want, though God desires to give us our heart's desires, His will is still of utmost importance. Honestly, what He wants is fine with me - He knows what I (and most importantly, Isaiah) can handle.

I think I am at a place where I know and trust God enough to let Him do what's best for my son - His creation that He entrusted into my care (and I am totally honored that God has chosen me for this task). There is a reason for all of this, there is a plan. Regardless of what I may want for Isaiah, God knows best. I have come to place where I can say, "I give up! I surrender!" because I know that God has Isaiah in the palms of His mighty hands. Yeh, things may not be "perfect" in my human mind, but isn't God's will and plan perfect? I want Isaiah to be healed and experience the "normal" life of other little boys his age. However, for right now, for whatever reason, God has us here. God is bringing Isaiah through all of this for a reason. I cannot deny reality, though I may want to. Denial never solved anything. Denial won't help Isaiah. That is not to say that I cannot call things that aren't as though they were, but I still can't deny the place where God has us right at this moment.

God's will above mine. He knows what we need, He knows where we are, and He knows how we will get to where He wants us to go. So, I say, "Lord, lead us - because I can't do this on my own nor in my own strength." God has blessed me with this little man. I am so thankful that God has chosen me to be Isaiah's mommy and I wouldn't give that up for anything this world has to offer.

He truly is an amazing God!


stitching under oaks said...

We pray for Isaiah and you and your family often. We're praying for his healing! We'll also be praying for strength for you as you walk this journey. Keep on trusting Jesus...what other option do we have? What other option would we want? He is more than enough.

Lisa Q.

Michele said...

Kelly, You never cease to amaze me with your depth in God and your desire above all things to honor Him. You are an amazing mommy! You are walking out faith in front of your little boy and that will last through eternity!